Pauls Rants & Revelations

I just finished hashing out this SQL query for a project and just had to share it.

A popular function to do on sites is to find the difference in 2 dates. In ASP, you can use the DateDiff function to find this value. However I wanted a way to select it straight from the database as there were already too many ASP function taking place on the page.

For those of you unfamiliar with SQL, there exists the SUM function where you can add the values of database fields right in the SQL query and select is as you would a normal field. In MySQL, there exists a TO_DAYS function that, when supplied with a date parameter, will spit back the number of days from day 0 (which is sometime in 1582). Using both of these in confunction will yield the desired integer when you have to find the difference between two dates. Here is the SQL query I used (although i removed the table names and such and made it more general):

SELECT SUM((TO_DAYS(Finish_Date) – TO_DAYS(Start_Date))) AS DiffDays FROM your_table

Using this query (either direct from your script or via a database view) will output an integer into the recordset field “DiffDays”. Then you just have to call it on your page and you are done.

But what if you have a great many records and have to find one with the largest difference in dates? Not a problem. Try this query:

SELECT SUM((TO_DAYS(Finish_Date) – TO_DAYS(Start_Date))) AS DiffDays FROM your_table ORDER BY DiffDays DESC LIMIT 1

This will output only one record, and that record will have the largest date difference of all the records in your table. If you want to find the smallest difference, swap out DESC for ASC and you will get the smallest difference.

For more info on the MySQL date object, check out the MySQL Reference pages.

Hope this helps, and happy selecting.

Cheers

I always loved the “Get A Mac” ads. My direct boss has recently succumbed to them and puchased a G5 for work. Then he got a powerbook for fun. Anyways, some funny spoofs have surfaced from the depts of the internet and made their way to Tech-E-Blog in a nice concise list form. You can check it out here:

TechEBlog – Top 5 Funniest “Get a Mac” Spoofs

From tone video about the Zune:

Finally, Microsoft brings us their own “Get a Mac” spoof, which basically pits “a Zune-toting PC with an iPod-carrying Mac, and apparently screened the ad at a recent company meeting.”

These are hilarious. Go watch them now.

Cheers

My second published article, How to Rant Without Losing Control has been published on Associated Content. (hooray)

This is also my first paying piece so I’m stoked (even though it wasnt as much as I thought it would get). Check it out if you get a sec. It was an exclusive article so I can’t republish it here but the link will be available. Maybe next time I’ll do the non-exclusive so I can re-publish it to my blogs.

If you want to know more about AC you can check it out here.

Cheers

I came across this design for a desktop size trebuchet and I though “That is so awesome it should be illegal”. Anyways, I have yet to build one myself but I am considering building one for my boss since he has to work in an office (I work from home). Might be nice to break up the dullness around the office a bit. From the site:

Wooden Desktop Trebuchet
The trebuchet is a medieval invention originally designed to lay seige to fortresses and castles. The largest of them could hurl immense stones hundreds of yards. Now you can have one to play with in your own home. The whole device stands about foot tall when unloaded and flings various things ten feet or more. Moreover, this is a nice introductiory woodworking project that you can do with mostly basic tools. Make sure to check all of the images. A lot of the details are in the notes there.

You can view the entire process on one page here: Desktop Trabuchet

There are also a lot more instruction for pretty much any project you can think of. Check out some of the other one if you have a moment.

-Cheers

We have been using Netflix for a few months without complaint. But recently they have been messing something up. The first screw up was they said that they never recieved a movie we sent back so they were going to stop sending up movies. Two days later they said “our bad, it was in the wrong warehouse”. Erg.

Then they sent us a movie for the kids that was a little scratched (by scratched I mean someone took a bench grinder too it). We told them it was scratched, they asked if we did it or we got it that way, I told them that a combat squad of ninja hamsters came in and used it as a f***ing concrete surfboard. They said send it back for credit.

Finally, they sent us An Evening with Kevin Smith 2. I had been looking forward to that one for some weeks so I was excited to see it in the mail. I opened it up and it turns out they sent us disc 2 first. Erg. Not wanting to let this get me down Beth and I watch it (it was good afterall and I didnt want to return it only to wait for it again).

Anyways, we watch it and send it back the next day. Then, 2 weeks pass by. We start wondering because we havent gotten the “We got it back” email Netflix sends. The sent an email nearly 3 weeks later asking WTF? Why havent we given back the video yet. We respond saying we sent it 3 weeks ago. 2 days later they get it and, low and behold, the postmark says 3 weeks ago. So they said thanks and that disc 1 is on the way (hooray).

Another 10 days later, the disc arrives. I open the envelop, and this is what I find:

They sent us f***ing disc 2! Again! The dam thing is marked Disc 1 for crying out loud. Perturbed, I pop it in the player hoping that its just got the wrong cover art on it. Nope, its disc 2 alright.

So we pack it up and send it back explaining that they sent the wrong disc. Before that though, I took my dremel to it. A bad bit of vandalism, I know. But it helped relieve the frustration a bit while simultaniously explaining the rotten condition some discs arrive in. After they said they recieved it we canceled the membership.

So, if anyone has a Netflix account, be sure of 2 things.

1. Never, ever order a 2 disc set of anything. Or a 3 or 4 or 5 disc set. They will f**k it up

2. If you receive the disc for An Evening with Kevin Smith disc 2, and it has “Netflix is an ass-hat”, let me know.

-Cheers

I submitted storys, poems, and editorials to Associated Content over the last few weeks. Most of it was just ranting and whatnot but one of my poems, A Walk In The Park (view original post here), was published!

You can check out the published version on AC here: A Walk in the Park

I know that its not really a huge thing to anybody but me, but it made me a little happy, so I’m telling the world. Let me know what you all think either by comments here or on the AC site.

-Cheers

This was truly awe inspiring. I really thought it was a photo until the author described and provided screenshots for the steps and used. I am really wishing I paid more attention in art class now. Full article link is below.

BoobleBot Blog: Amazing. This is not a photo.
Amazing. This is not a photo.

I bet the Adobe folks are really stoked that something like this was made with their product. If I were them, I would be hitting this guy up for some testimonials or permission to use the work. Would be great advertising.

It can also be Dugg here:
http://digg.com/design/Amazing_This_is_not_a_photo

Cheers

I have just upgraded to the latest version of WordPress version 2.1 Ella. I must say, that was about as painless as anything could be. The entire process took me less than 10 minutes, and most of that time was spent just reading about all of this versions addons and fixes.

Since I run my own server (god bless root access) I didn’t have to FTP files over and taking a backup was basically copy-paste. All told, I spent about 3 minutes upgrading.

If you run WordPress 2.0.x, upgrade now. If you use another blog/cms, go get WordPress.

Well what are you waiting for…Go!

Cheers

I was looking for the recipe on how to make orange flavored ice blended beverages (hope that description wards off any lawyers from Orange Julius) and came across the blog of Paul Mayne. Here is his recipe from his site (see below). I tried this out and it tastes awesome. And its close enough to the actual product you get over-charged for at the mall that my son couldn’t tell the difference; and a more picky eater you will not find anywhere.

Orange Julius Recipe
Speaking of blending, today I finally found the perfect recipe to create Orange Julius smoothies. The 3rd one I’ve tried seems to be just to my liking, the first one called for eggs and was straight barf-o-lishious, the second was ok but quite bitter.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a “real” Orange Julius but from what I remember, my third one was quite close to those. Check it:

6 oz. frozen orange juice concentrate
1 cup milk
1 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
8-9 ice cubes

1. Combine all ingredients except ice cubes in blender.
2. Blend for about 1-2 minutes, adding ice cubes one at a time.

I know, that’s a lot of sugar, right? Yeah, no wonder it’s so good

You can find more at Paul Mayne’s blog or use the direct link.

Go ahead! Try it out! I promise you’ll love it.

Cheers

This was too funny not to post. This is totally something that I would do. Which is why people stopped asking me for computer help.

From Degredo.net

My father heard about Vista coming on the news. Since he was interested in getting it, he asked me to obtain it and install it on his computer and he would give some cash in return. I told him I was going to do that, but instead I burned an Ubuntu CD and installed it.Later, when he came home from work, I showed him his new “Vista” install, complete with the latest Office and Solitaire.

Well, it’s been a few days since that and now he says Bill Gates is better than Steve Jobs and brags about how OS X on my iMac is obsolete compared to Vista on his PC.

I will continue with the prank for some weeks, after which I’ll tell him the truth and give him back his money.

Originally posted on Degredo.net : Found via Digg