OK, so get this. My wife and I had some trouble last year. Things were pretty bad but last September they started to get better (we were living apart and she moved back in with me in September).
For a good while things were going OK. We were getting along well and the kids were happier for it. I was afraid that the situation would turn out like what happened to my parents and I was relieved that things were getting better. I thought that all the ugliness (more than half of which was my fault I admit) was in the past.
About the first of the new year, she started getting a little moody and distant. I thought she was just tired or frustrated about money or something and that it would pass. It didn’t. About 2 weeks ago I confronted her about it and asked her what was bothering her. She said, of course, that she wasn’t ready to talk about it. I persisted because not talking was what got is in trouble in the first place.
She said that she was not happy with me at all. That she couldn’t forget the things that I did and the hurt that I caused her and that she was more than a little leaning towards getting a divorce. I tried to find out what reasons she had since, by her own admission, I was the perfect husband since she and I got back together. She pointed out some things that I did that she thought was wrong. I argued my point of things but they obviously didnt hit any chords with her. She had basically given up on listening to anything I have to say about anything.
Frustration rising, I asked her when she thought would have been a good time to talk about her leaving me. She said that once she figured out what she wanted to do, then she would have told me. Possibly weeks or months later.
Now, I know that I am far from perfect. I have flaws, I make mistakes, but I try to correct them and learn from them (even though my learning curve on that is rather flat-ish). Point being I was trying to make up for past mistakes and enjoy being her husband and the father of our kids.
Anyways, shes not having any of it. She wants to get away from me for whatever reason she sees fit to assign (whether it is something that is my fault or not) and that is the end of it. But the real kicker is, besides that fact that I will only see my kids when she sees fit to let me, is that she wants me to get a second job. I already have a full time web development job as is. But she wants me to get another job so that I can pay off some debt, so she can move out sooner.
WTF?!?! She wants me to get a second job, taking any time I have away from her and the kids, just so she can leave me sooner? In what fucking universe does that make any kind of sense?
For the most part, I have been looking at part time gigs to supplement our income. This hasnt been going so well since most good jobs require a degree (which I have yet to manage to get) and my current job is unpredictable at times as projects and such get moved and I mess up some stuff causing me to work late. But getting a job for the sole purpose of expediting her departure is, at least in my opinion, just plain nucking futs!
So im left with no good options at this juncture. Im damned if I do and damned if I don’t. But even though I’m am not quite sure what exactly to do, I do know at least one thing. And that is that She has to wake the hell up from whatever fantasy land she is living where she thinks for one bloody second that I’m gonna just roll over again and capitulate to her whims.
